Detachable Penis

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached

Song: Detachable Penis

Artist: King Missile

Album: Happy Hour

Year: 1992

There are times when a song enjoys success that defies all human logic. Disco Duck, springs to mind. As does anything by Barbara Streisand.

Detachable Penis is one of those songs. It was released in 1992 and reached all the way to #25 on the Billboard Charts. It’s a song so stupid, so bizarre and hilarious, that it sums up the the 90’s’ whatever sense of humor in a tidy ironic nutshell.

I was a university student in 1992, and as such drank my face off every day. One time, my friends and I played the Detachable Penis game. The rules of the game are simple:

Rule #1: Do a shot of beer every time they say “Detachable Penis”

Rule #2: Try not to throw up

What could possibly go wrong?

Here’s the thing.

They don’t say the words “Detachable Penis” at the beginning of the song. Then they say it like 24 times in a row. That’s 24 shots of beer, back to back to back to-

Well, you get the queasy picture.

Finally, at the 2:15 mark, the backup singers shut the hell up. This is the part where you catch your breath, and regret your choices as you try not to spew.

Twenty seconds later, those soulless backup singers are at it again.

But wait, there’s more!

The “Detachable Penises” (Detachable Peni?) begin to overlap: over and over, layer upon layer, creating a pastiche of penis detachabilius.

Pretty soon you’re so wasted, you’re not really sure if you should still be drinking. You’re pretty fucking positive, however, that you shouldn’t have had that burrito for breakfast.

So…

What lesson did I and my rotten friends learn by playing the Detachable Penis game?

Simple: If you’re going to engage in binge drinking, pick a better song.

I’m kidding, of course.

Detachable Penis is a Gen X staple. And a really great song to do really stupid shit to. At least it was in 1992. When nobody had cell phones to film your shenanigans.