Breathe

Breathe With Me

Dear Gen Xer,

Everywhere you turn these days, everybody’s hustlin’. They got their main hustle, their side hustle, the hustle they got going with their cousin Ray who’s new to the hustling scene.

You see them on the subway and in the streets, fielding calls and abusing their laptops as if the world depended on them. What are they doing that’s so important? Deciphering code? Manipulating markets? Hey, Gordon Gekko – put the MacBook down. Your pork belly shares can wait.

Even worse than these Bluetoothed Bozos is the endless parade of insufferable asshats who espouse the virtues of Hustle Culture: the grinning Experts, Coaches, and Gurus who never seem to have met the sun, and sound less inspired than they do possessed.

If you want to THRIVE, you have to GRIND. You have to FAIL FAST before you MAKE MILLIONS. For just $599, I can show you how to:

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Hustle Culture. What a joke. And hardly a new concept to us savvy Gen Xers. Back in our day, we called it the Rat Race. You remember the Rat Race, don’t you? That’s the race our parents ran. And look how jolly they turned out.

Living in the land of Hustle Culture can feel a tad overwhelming at times. So much so, you forget to Breathe.

Did you know that humans take between 17,000 to 20,000 breaths a day?

Countless studies and years of endeavor have shown us how we can manipulate our breath and use it to our advantage.

Diaphragmatic (or ‘deep’) breathing can help to improve your voice and posture. It can reduce your blood pressure and your heart rate, stimulate your digestive system and the production of white blood cells, and help to minimize your levels of stress.

If you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed, breathe in slowly through your nose. Imagine you’re filling a balloon in your stomach. Then purse your lips and breathe out slowly, as if you’re blowing out birthday candles. Make your exhales longer than your inhales. Marvel as you start to relax.

Exercises like this are powerful tools in helping us navigate our hectic world. Thanks so much, The Prodigy, for reminding us to stop and breathe!

Except, whoops! Womp-womp. That’s not what Breathe is about.

"When we did the song, it was about confrontation between Maxim and Keith. There was no deep meaning. It was like, you want to taste me, come over here and taste me. And then Maxim was like, breathe me, breathe me... It was just more of a confrontational thing between them two.” – Liam Howlett

So there you have it. Prodigy’s big hit was inspired by a Bro-Down. Kind of a letdown, but makes perfect sense. The song is jittery and in your face. Its whiplashing swords (courtesy of The Wu) inform the listener that it’s time for battle. What jazzes the blood, what elevates Breathe beyond simple chest beating, is the masterful way it manages to capture the spirit of a fight. The menace. The chaos. The clashing of forces.

Breathe the pressure, it invites with a snarl. Come play my game, I’ll test ya.

When applied to Hustle Culture, the game in question is obviously rigged. It was designed by criminals long ago and continues to be honored by the overlords of today, all of whom are happy to drink the majority of our milkshakes. They want us to Grind so we’re too busy to Think. Too tired to realize that we’ve been Had.

You know who grinds hard? Donkeys grind hard. When was the last time you saw one of them living their best life or 10Xing their potential?

How nice it would be to fight as ferociously as The Prodigy sounds today. To have Breathe blasting through Caesar’s Palace as I step into the ring and crack the skulls of the High Priests of Hustle Culture.

But who am I kidding? With my bum knee and wonky wrist, I doubt I could take a chihuahua.

Instead of raising my middle-aged dukes, I laugh in the face of Hustle Culture. I hawk a loogie on its sacred Grind. I protect my time and peace of mind, and refuse to squeeze every minute of my day for the fleeting promise of profit.

I breathe the pressure these assholes exert.

Then I exhale.

Exhale.