Goody Two Shoes

Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?

SONG: Goody Two Shoes

ALBUM: Friend or Foe

ARTIST: Adam Ant

YEAR: 1982

I hold these truths to be self-evident:

• The earth is round

• Winters suck

• Adam Ant is a fabulous, totally straight, highwayman/pirate

I first heard Adam when I was over at a friend’s house. He’d surprised the whole class earlier that day by shedding his polo shirt and rugby pants and arriving to school in a beguiling ensemble of jeans, a military jacket, and a frilly white blouse.

My friend and I were supposed to be doing our homework, but naturally we were watching television instead. Halfway through an episode of Gilligan’s Island, I mustered up the courage to ask my chum what had caused his transformation. He got up from the couch without a word and played me the song that graces today’s Gen X Jukebox.

Goody Two Shoes is 80’s pop personified. It’s got happy horns, a bouncy beat, and a chorus that’s catchier than spring break herpes.   

The song hit #1 in the UK and Australia and peaked at #12 in the United States.

The accompanying video was meant to illustrate a day in the life of Adam Ant—from dressing up to performing on stage to being hounded by the media.

Indeed, the song is a clapping back of sorts: a shiny-happy middle finger to the invasive British press.

I think dancing is the ultimate middle finger: a fuck you to mortality. Sure, I’m gonna die someday, but watch me bust a move in the meanwhile.

It’s as if we have the capacity to transcend the laws of time and space when we’re grooving to an awesome tune.

Must be something inside.